Why is it that the Hulk has the best lines?

Why is it that the Hulk has the best lines?

It's a very bizarre happening when your dumbest character has the most brilliant lines. For example:




&




The latter line is, indeed, in reference to the Hulk's sexual preference. I think the icing on the cake with these lines is that he screams them. Also, taken out of context, these lines seem a bit contradictory. Perhaps Banner has more hidden in the closet than a green Mr. Hyde.

D

Reading:

The Ultimates

Ultimate Fantastic Four

1602

Adam Strange

Space Ghost

Catwoman: When in Rome

Shockrockets

Supreme: The Return

Listening to:

The Shadow: Greatest Radio Adventures

Ill Communication, Beastie Boys

Badly Drawn Boy

Watching:

Creepshow 2

Clue

Wild at Heart

Good ol' American superheroes

Good ol' American superheroes

I have to admit something to you guys. Many of you already know this, but it's something that I need to officially make public for my own sake:

I am an American boy, true blue. I love peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. I used to drink at least three glasses of milk per day. I love baseball. I call my parents at least six times a week. The biggest, dirtiest part of this whole thing, though, is that I used to love--love--Captain America comics. I probably have more Cap comics than any other (except all of my X-books combined) sitting at my parents' house. I don't think anyone knows this about me except Nick, but I only had two comics subscriptions in my life. One was from just after "X-ecutioner's Song" X-Men and the other was from Captain America.

At least I still fucking hate Superman, right?

This being said, you can imagine my delight in reading the first volume of The Ultimates. The Ultimates are part of Marvel's Ultimate Universe in which the history of the major Marvel books are scrapped in favor of kickstarting the books from the present. The Ultimates is the Ultimate Universe's take on The Avengers. It is also badass.

Cap is literally a moral relic from WWII found in Arctic ice. Thor is actually a Norse god/hippie. Nick Fury looks exactly like Samuel L. Jackson. Giant Man and The Wasp are the perfect dysfunctional couple. Tony Stark (Iron Man) is an alcoholic. The media loves them.



Go ahead and check out Volume One.

D

For those of you tuning in late...

For those of you tuning in late...

Here's a brief recap of the plot points of my life since I've gotten to LA in roughly chronological order:

1) My apartment fell through the day before I arrived rendering me effectively homeless before I even got here.

2) The internship I was supposed to have when I arrived never existed.

3) I lived in a hostel for a month while looking for a place to live.

4) I have to this day racked up $270 in parking tickets.

5) I found jobs and places to live.

In the past four weeks:

I've been diagnosed with diabetes.

I've had my car towed while I was in the ICU at the hospital because of the aforementioned disease.

My good friend at work (Seth) got fired.

My apartment building caught on fire.

[QUICK SIDENOTE: I discovered this after having worked a fourteen hour day not including the hour and a half drive time to and from work. After dropping off the van a few blocks away, I walked over to Quizno's to get a sub in preparation for a quiet dinner at home with some episodes of "The Prisoner". Walking up to my front door, I noticed that a slab of wood was blocking the entrance. There was a sign attached to the slab:

"Residents of 654 S. Dunsmuir--
There has been a 'fire' in the apartment building. Call James @ 555-what-the-fuck-ever."

I swear to Christ that they had quotes around the word "fire", as if were some so-called blaze. As if it had allegedly incinerated the building. Oddly enough, I felt more pissed off at the absurdity of that word's quotation than I did about the fire. Obviously I was transferring my feelings of the fire onto something a bit more manageable for my fragile little mind. I ended up sleeping at a co-worker's place for the next few days while a crew cleaned up the facilities. My apartment was fine...except for the sooty bootprints on the floor and some handprints on the wall. Oh, and the broken, kicked-in door that has yet to be fixed. It doesn't shut, and yet I stay in my apartment anyway. Why? Because I'm stupid, that's why.]

My good friend at work (Nikki) got fired...in the middle of the last day of the shoot...right before the holiday season.

Now that you're all caught up on the season, stay tuned for more wacky hijinks!

I try to lead a dull life. I really do. Unfortunately for me, Fate thinks it's fucking hilarious. Some days I'm inclined to agree.

D

[ANOTHER SIDENOTE: The film I worked on for Amazon.com is up on their Amazon Theater page and main page. The film is called Do Geese See God (which I only just realized is a palindrome, sadly enough), and I think is the best one they have up so far. You be the judge. Let me know what you think.]