Home on the range

Home on the range

There's a conversation that just seems to keep popping up lately: what is masculinity? What is femininity? What has progress done to these notions of gender normality? The consensus, I believe, has been this: gender progress has produced more masculine women and more feminine men.

While this is fine if it is an outlet for behavior that an individual finds comfortable for him or herself, it has pervaded my own life in ways that I'm not okay with. I don't know how many times I've talked about how dumb typically masculine behaviors are with girls. I don't know how many times I've had to say how stupid it is that I like a certain thing because I'm a guy. I don't know how many times a guy has been described as "good" by women because he's a sensitive individual, and then I see that the man always goes home alone. Hell, I've been that guy.

It seems like we've opened doors for men to be more feminine and women to be more masculine with the mindset that we must go through because, dammit, they're there. I've been through there. I mingled. I had the punch, and I did what I do at the other kinds of parties where I feel uncomfortable: stood in the corner. After these conversations, though, I've decided that I'm not going to apologize for the things that envigorate me just because they seem macho.

Before I go any further, let me define what I think is the archetypical man: the cowboy. Let it be known I'm referring to the stereotype of the cowboy, and not whatever that term has come to mean in the present day. I'm talking about the hombre that has a gun on his hip at all times. I'm talking about the guy who goes out, just him and his horse, and wanders the desert all day. I'm talking about the guy who works hard with his hands all day. I'm talking the guy who goes home as dusk, has meat and beans for dinner, pleases his woman, and is out the next day doing the same thing.

This archetype is especially salient because a masculine/feminine rift occurred the other day when I was watching Once Upon a Time in the West with a female friend of mine. In a nutshell, she didn't like it, and I didn't like it because she didn't. Her complaint? It was just a bunch of guys staring at each other. My complaint? None. I loved it. I love that guy staring down another guy thing. I love the pride involved. I love the retribution. I love the struggle to be the alpha male in those movies and how, once you win the staring contest, you've actually won everything. All that's left is to shoot the man dead.

Why did I say the movie was dumb while I watched it? Because a girl didn't like it. Now don't get me wrong. Everyone's entitled to her or his respective opinion, but I'm mad at myself for not staying true to the one I actually felt. It's no one's fault but my own, but it's due to the fact that guys and girls are taught that it's not okay to be masculine and feminine, respectively.

The fat-skinny of this whole thing is this: I'm going to be a guy when I want to be a guy. I invited all those that feel they've been repressed to join me on this. I encourage girls to be girls when they want to be and not to feel like they need to be masculine unless they feel comfortable with it. As glad as I am that I have the out to get excited that a girl friend has found a new boy or that she got a cute new outfit, I'm not going to stop liking guys shooting each other, feeling like getting into fights, and openly being okay with thinking a naked girl is a nice thing to see without feeling like a jerk.

In short, I am Man. Hear me squeal like a school girl when someone scores a touchdown or when the bad guy gets it in the end.

D

Listening to:

Morrissey, Your Arsenal

David Bowie, Outside

The Kinks, Muswell Hillbilly

Watching:

Once Upon a Time in the West

Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Young Frankenstein

Unbreakable